


ten seconds

by raniiaaa



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Drinking, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:34:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26851522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raniiaaa/pseuds/raniiaaa
Summary: Rafe didn’t seem like the kind of guy who held a stranger’s hand at a party, but here he was.
Relationships: Rafe Cameron/Reader
Kudos: 6





	ten seconds

The bassline made its way to your head, the throbbing originating through your entire body. You tried to focus on the music, on the way it made your body move amongst the throng of undergraduate students. Unfortunately, the cold sweat couldn’t wait till after the party to set in. The little voice in your head was incessant, chirping away with every pause in between the shuffle of songs. Someone definitely got their cousin to DJ tonight. Getting through the crowd required many muttered apologies, your head sinking almost like it was trying to fit between your hunched shoulders. The school atmosphere was one thing to handle, but house parties like this always put you on edge. You always had expectations for them, for yourself to flourish socially. But then you started belittling yourself for these desires, for being such a try-hard, for not yet finding a “posse” unlike seemingly everyone around you.

‘Probably no one else cares,

they’re probably much more mature than you, they probably have this happen naturally, they’re probably just better than you 

that’s what it is,’

the little voice continued. It kept speaking, kept growing and growing till it became your own voice. You shut your eyes rapidly, almost like squeezing out what was happening. The door sharpened in your focus, its handle shining different colors under the dollar store strobe lights. You could calm yourself down, you just needed some air. Air, air, air, just reach the door, just reach the door. The quickening of your footsteps aroused some looks, making your mission that much more important. Unlatching the first door, your irritation increased that this was one of those classical southern double doors. The screen door seemed to be taunting you, letting a balmy night breeze hit your face. Ok, an inanimate door was not about become your enemy. Halting your hand was like keeping two opposite poled magnets apart. A deep breath, come on. It was just so loud everywhere and you couldn’t seem to think straight. The only thought left was ‘calm down’. This party had gotten you so overstimulated like you had too much to drink or snort except your bloodstream was as clean as a whistle. Nothing could have stopped you at freaking out, but at least no one saw it. And with that, you walked out onto the porch and into someone.

That someone was Rafe Cameron.

Oh fuck.

He was just sitting on the porch, beer in hand. You took a few seconds to just look at him before he saw you. Rafe Cameron had recently been in quite the tizzy. Is that what’s it’s called to disappear for a few semesters and come back any entirely different person? He did eventually look over to the door. The two of you held each others gaze for a bit, neither caring enough about propriety to smile and look away. You were sure your face was about as friendly as a twenty-three-inch long chihuahua, but you were tired of trying. You tried so hard, to be nice and appealing and confident and all those adjectives. Rafe was definitely not the type to care so you choose not to either.

You tried sitting far from him, venturing to the other side of the wrap-around porch.

And there was a naked man.

You weren’t gonna stay and find out why this guy was standing with his bare ass out on someone’s porch. Pivoting, you almost ran back to the couch on the front section. Where Rafe was.

“That’s why I’m sitting here too,”.

His voice surprised you. The timbre, the depth, everything familiar about a voice was the same. However, his cadence had changed. The Rafe you had known 2 years ago spoke like there was a silver spoon permanently situated in his mouth. The smugness in every sentence made many want to grab him by the hair and toss him into the North Carolina sea.

Now… well it sounded nice.

You tried to seem occupied, but the couch just seemed to keep getting smaller and smaller. Rafe’s voice wasn’t the only thing that had changed.

Coming back, he wasn’t inducted as the king of the privileged and full of it as once before. Now he more like a long-suffering viscount, leaving his secluded forest home to attend to court only when demanded by his position. You couldn’t leave a group like that easily, especially when you were someone like Rafe. People gravitated towards him, but now he no longer seemed to see himself as a center of gravity.

The next few minutes were spent trying to grab the reins on your thoughts, to get them to settle down and dissipate.

No matter what you did, though, they held on to the thick of your mind. You could almost feel the weight of them on the back of your brain stem, not going away. Your breathing began to increase as your intrusive thoughts became more and more emboldened. Now it wasn’t just social isolation, but every memory that you perceived as cold hard proof of your worthlessness. The thoughts kept flying at you. Unthinkingly, your arm stretched out from your side and you grabbed a hold of Rafe’s hand.

It had been reflexive, you hadn’t been thinking. With your friends and family, you could just hold their hands when things got too overwhelming. The warmth of their hand and hold it was like a rope anchoring you to this planet. The rhythm of their pulse helping you synchronize your own. But Rafe was nowhere close to either of these things. How would you explain this to him?

“I’m sorry,” you ripped your hand away from his, hoping he was too drunk to comprehend your misstep. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. His cognizant eyes focused on you. This might have been the first time he was looking at you. To be seen by him affected you in a way you would never vocalize. You felt chills following the places his gaze fell, hyperaware of your posture. This would get to be too much to handle. You got up quickly, laser-focused on leaving this place, feet already moving forward. And then Rafe held your hand. You didn’t process it at first, only believing it when he spoke.

“Is this what you needed?”

His voice fell over you like water, blanketing you in his sotto voce. You couldn’t tell if this was comforting or terrifying. But you had already found the thrum of his heart beat, your finger locating it. Skewed to the right side of his wrist, your breathing began to match its beat.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

You felt like you swallowed a bunch of bees. You instantly detached your hand from Rafe’s. How do you get away from a thing like this, do you say thank you? Do you say nothing? You were still thinking over this dilemma when he spoke.

“Why ten seconds?”

“What?” you said, squeaking almost.

“I noticed you were counting under your breath and you stopped at ten. It seemed like a ritual, to stop at ten. Am I right?”

“Yeah. I-uh, I stop at 10 seconds,”

“So why ten seconds?”

Silence, just the buzz of crickets and midnight air.

“I guess so the other person doesn’t worry that I won’t let go,”

He was just quiet, which prompted you to continue.

“It’s long enough for me to calm down, but short enough to not bother the other person, or weird them out. I think”

Rafe just nodded, going back to stoically drinking his beer.

You got up and before leaving, turned around to look at him.

“Thank you Rafe.”

Was it just your eyes or was he blushing? You decided not to stay and find out, turning to start the long walk home.


End file.
